On Burglars....

Mid-move had to go elsewhere for a family crisis.  Returned after 10 days to find hubby had unpacked very few boxes so am now inundated with unpacking.  Throat infection did not clear properly and went into my left ear, Eustachian tube and sinuses.  That was the least of my worries, however.
The family crisis got me thinking seriously about post-natal depression and psychosis.  How late can it happen after a birth?  And about verbal abuse - why is it that so often only men are accused of abuse when verbal abuse can also come from the female of the species.  Especially in provocation.  16 days of an action campaign against women abuse - what about the men one has to ask?  It is after all, with the tongue that women fight (am I right or am I wrong?).

So there I was, a guest in my own adult child's home.  Alone with his wife.  She in the master bedroom and I in the child's future bed in the nursery.  I took a muscle relaxant (for my neck) and a sleeping pill.  Nothing usually wakes me up from this combination.

Suddenly, at 2 a.m. I awoke with what sounded like someone (or more than one person) climbing over the garden wall.  "Doomf!!" went their feet as they landed on the ground.  Then the outside light right outside my window went off.  Now I knew that a burglary was in process.  I was waiting for the sound of breaking glass at the kitchen door.  I even thought I heard voices.  Up out of bed I ran down the dark passage and knocked on my daughter-in-law's locked bedroom door.  "Tessa!  Tessa!  Press your panic button!"  No response.  I banged harder and shouted louder, knowing the intruder/s would now definitely hear me.  Finally, Tessa appeared sleepily at her bedroom door.  I closed the door and we locked it.  "Press your panic button" I repeated "There's someone in the garden.  They are trying to break in.  They could be in the house by now!"  Tessa was unfazed.  She batted her sleepy eyes at me "Are you SURE?" she asked slowly "Your son also thought there was someone around and there was no one".  What is wrong with this crazy lady?  She is second-guessing me at a time like this!  "Listen to me Tessa.  I was woken out of a deep sleep.  I took a muscle relaxant and a sleeping pill.  I heard them jump over the wall.  I saw the outside light go off!!"  She pressed the alarm.  It was not the silent kind.  It whirred loudly all across the neighborhood.  She switched it off.  We listened for noises inside the house.  We phoned the police.  They were on their way.  Phoned the neighbours, but no response.  Switched the alarm back on.  Two women alone in the house with a sleepy toddler sucking at her dummy and looking at us in amazement.

 

The policemen arrived - all seven of them.  They searched the house, they searched the garden, they looked for scuff marks on the walls, they found nothing.  They stayed a while giving us security tips and assured us they would patrol the area.  Calmed down, we had some coffee and returned to our separate bedrooms.

Several nights later I lay in the same bed nodding off when I heard the toilet next to my wall and off the master bedroom flush.  It wasn't the flush that shocked me, no.  It was the suction, Doomf! sounds that were familiar.  And I clearly heard the light being switched off.  Yet it stayed on outside my window.  ?????  The night of the near-burglary Tessa did not have the outside light on.  So that explained it.  She had gone to the toilet at 2 a.m., flushed and the plumbing took care of the rest of the "burglar" noises.  She had switched off the bathroom light which had flooded the garden outside my window.  And in the middle of all this I had woken and reacted.  My face was red, yes it was.

It was red when I admitted my mistake.  It remained red until I realised that I had actually through an act of great stupidity actually given my family a 'burglary drill' and that several things were left wanting - a silent alarm to a security company - outside light left off - a table right up against the wall - and neighbours that needed Stay Alert Tablets.